h a n n a h l u c c i

I thought I write my own Thought Catalog after being inspired by how modernly written each article reflects. I think a lot of guys and gals don’t realise when they get friend zoned. Yeah, it totally sucks, but realise the signs before digging your emotions too deep into it only to be shunned down. Just because you guys may have some common interests doesn’t mean they will be interested in you too. We all get rejected, hell, I have too, but I know there are plenty of other guys who are into me so I have nothing to worry about.

6 Obvious Signs You’ve Been Friend Zoned:

1. “You’re one of my best friends!” Red flag, buddy. Any girl (or guy) who insinuates these six words is a complete red flag that you’ve been friend zoned. They’re not physically attracted to you and less likely emotionally into you. Once a best friend will only be a best friend, accept it and move on.

2. They talk about other guys (or girls) of their interest. This one is pretty obvious, and self explanatory. If your object of affection is going on about another hot guy they want to furiously pounce on, then sorry to say it, they have no interest in you. 

3. They are immediately comfortable around you and has much discretion as she would with her girlfriends. This reflects back to number 1, the BFF. Come on, if you’ve seen her look like a total mess and she doesn’t even care about her appearance around you, she’s definitely not trying to impress you. Girls are obsessed with making sure they look like pure divas when they are around their object of affection, and if she doesn’t doll up when she is around you, she’s not into you.

4. They know everything about you and vice versa. She knows about your secret ninja toy collection you still worship. You know that when she was in 7th grade she went into the boys’ bathroom to see what that was like. You know all her embarrassing stories that she would never bring up to her man crush. 

5. She talks about her menstrual cycle, openly. She talks to you like one of the girls. She doesn’t care if you get grossed out when she says “I’m on my period.”. She asks for your opinions on whether the pink lipgloss looks better than the red lipgloss. Your opinons only matter so she knows it will impress other guys. 

6. She’s on her phone most of the time when you guys hang out. She doesn’t really care if there is much of a conversation or not, and spends your guys’ hang out time by being on the phone and texting other people. If she was interested in you, she’d focus all herself on you, not the other boy she is texting on her phone.

I wish I came across this Thought Catalog’s article many years back. I once had a boyfriend that I stayed with even though our relationship was completely deteriorating and we were practically holding onto nothing. I was 16. We just didn’t know how to break up at the time, and although we tried to make the relationship work, we found ourselves miserable in the long run. We were young, but even as 16 year olds it was a pretty serious relationship, but I found myself unhappy during the most part and now that I’m an adult, I realised how much I missed out in high school life.

Here are 20 Signs You Need To Break Up:

1. You fight more than once a month, and it always ends in what my friend calls “The State of the Union” where you discuss breaking up but never do.

2. You find yourself bored when they talk, and thinking about other things watching their lips move.

3. You look forward to nights you can go out with friends without them.

4. You don’t want to introduce them to people as your significant other so you just settle on, “Uh…this is [their name].”

5. They tell you they’re going away for a few days for work, or a family thing and you start planning all the stuff you’re gonna do without them.

6. If someone hits on you, you let them buy you drinks and flirt back. You’re not gonna cheat but it’s no good to send away someone with potential right?

7. When they express their opinion about something, you think it’s ridiculous and you feel like they look down on your opinions too.

8. You feel afraid to express yourself because they tend to interrupt you or condescend to you until you feel dismissed.

9. They don’t please you sexually and you don’t feel like you can tell them what you need.

10. They’ve ever raised a hand to you, even if they never actually hit you. If they’ve shoved you or threatened violence, that’s enough.

11. You miss out on fun events and hang outs because you feel obligated to stay in with them.

12. They make fun of your ambitions and seem to have none of their own.

13. They never do anything considerate for you without you having to needle them into doing it. It’s not as cute when you have to ask them to “surprise” you with flowers.

14. They talk shit about your friends and/or family. You’re allowed to complain about them because you love them. They are not.

15. They disagree with you on some fundamental stuff like the importance of feminism or abortion or the death penalty and they don’t respect your opinion.

16. When you go out together, you end up drunkenly fighting and crying in the street like a hot mess.

17. They get insanely jealous of any friends you have that might even remotely be interested in you. It shows they don’t trust you.

18. They hate your taste in movies, music and books and they like to let you know every single day that their taste is way better.

19. You can’t remember the last time they affectionately kissed your forehead for no reason.

20. You fantasize about breaking up with them more than once a week.

I LOVE Thought Catalog. It is a personal improvement Wordpress blog but a bit more…hip & modern with authors & contributors close to our age. I find so many of their articles funny & straight to the point that I thought I’d share it here too. Here is something that we often struggle when we are facing an unstable relationship (or friendship). I am THE WORST at accepting the negative and more obvious traits in someone in spite of the fear of hurting them when I let them go. As a people pleaser (my weakness), I try to gently weed off instead of setting my little heels down and getting to the point.

Here is Thought Catalog’s  article in 6 Signs It’s Not Going to Work Out.

1. You fight dirty. I’m not saying you have to be flawless communicators right off the bat, but if you resort to calling someone fat or rubbing their imperfections in their face, that’s not someone you really want to spend your time with.

2. You’re kind of avoiding introducing them to your friends. If you keep making excuses to push off those plans for you guys to finally hang out and meet each other, you may want to consider why you keep doing that. If it’s because you’re embarrassed of them, well, I think you know the rest.

3. Their future plans make you cringe. I’m not talking about the little things, I mean the big deal-breakers like they do or don’t want to have kids, they want to move to Japan, they want to spend their life as nomads living off the land, they want to be a two-faced politician, etc. Because their future hopes and dreams actually say a lot about them.

4. It’s hard to have great conversations with them. This one is a deal-breaker for me, because I’m all about just sitting down over a meal and talking about anything and everything. If you can’t connect with someone at this most basic level, or it’s like pulling teeth to keep a conversation going, it’s probably not going anywhere else.

5. They don’t accept you for who you genuinely are. You have to be with someone who not only accepts you, but admires you and loves you for all the weird, quirky things you do. If you let your guards down and show them who you really are, only to be met with a less-than-ideal reaction, you’ll most likely be calling it quits.

6. Your gut feeling tells you this isn’t the person for you, or your mind and heart keep going back to someone else. This is the hardest to realize and accept, but probably the most important. Your gut always knows.