Anonymous asked: (more from gg) him to go a wedding with me in a few weeks? I suppose its hard for me to understand because there are mixed signals that could be a result of him not knowing how to be in this sort of situation. I'm sorry that took me so many messages to articulate! I love your advice and hope you are doing amazing! Yours, Gym Girl
Dear Gym Girl,
It flatters me to hear from you again :). I have posted each message just in case fellow followers who are facing the same relationship concern can relate to your matter and read my advice. Please message me if you prefer me to keep those posts private instead.
From my personal experience and knowledge, men who do not commit are:
1. afraid of commitment
2. keeping options open
I believe that your friend is facing reasons 1 and 3, yet you two are c l e a r l y dating from what you have shared with me. It truly sounds like you two have excellent chemistry; why would he ever doubt what he has in front of him?! A man would not bring a woman around the most important people of his life if he did not see the relationship carrying on into the future. Could you clarify what you mean by ‘lack of communication’ outside of the relationship? Does he purposely ignore you at the gym or Uni? How often do you initiate phone calls/texts/emails? Do you wait for him to contact you in fear of appearing ‘needy’? There is never a ‘wrong’ time to establish what you want out of a relationship, but feeling uncertain is unfair to you, and could even be unfair to him too. They say most men hate the talk, and they do because it is never fun coming to an agreement that they cannot fulfill, but his actions of a true gentleman, excellent interpersonal communication, always paying for dates isn’t something only a ‘friend’ would do. I say tell him what you want now. I always believed it is important to let the other partner know what you’re looking for, but based on the description you had shared to me, this looks like it is forming into a relationship - just without a title. Are you truly alright with being in a relationship without any label? Ask him what is he looking for in a relationship, and let him know how you REALLY feel - your emotions, what your opinions are in regards to introducing each other to important individuals, the label, where you feel like this is heading, etc etc. This doesn’t scare men away, that is, if he is an adult about it.
In regards to asking him to be your date to a wedding, I don’t think there is anything wrong with asking him to go with you…unless you feel that it is inappropriate to invite him if the relationship doesn’t seem serious enough. If you feel uncertain, wait to make your decision until you’ve had your discussion.
Whether the consultation is positive or not as expected, always look at any experience as a positive review; I like to think everything is a learning experience to better me in the future :) x
Anonymous asked: (more from gg) with not having labels for now because I still don't want to rush into anything (which has been my downfall in past), but I guess what I want to ask is how far should I let this go? It's not exactly a secret, my family knows about him and his family knows about me. He has introduced me to a lot of his close friends so I know its not really something on the side, but how/when do I ask for more without asking for too much? Also, a smaller question is that is it appropriate to ask
Anonymous asked: (more from gg) It's all very bizzare to me. On top of this is more confusion, we have an amazing time togehter and can talk for hours, but his communication outside of our dates and when I see him at the gym quite honestly sucks. I hear from him, at most, only about twice a week. I understand that he is busy with school and work (I am too) and maybe because he is scared of expectations forming, he tries to create some sort of distance between us. We've talked about things before and I'm semi ok
Anonymous asked: (continuation from gg) flash forward to two months later and we have been going out almost every single weekend and the dates are really amazing, he is a complete gentleman. The thing is that despite how good he treats me, almost like his girlfriend in so many ways from picking me up at my house, to paying for everything, to letting me borrow his sweater, he claims to not want anything 'serious'. The problem with this is that he has dated other girls but never been in a 'serious' relationship